Emergency


When I want to find sensible, day-to-day, philosophy I seek out my Jewish friends.  When you truly are God’s chosen people, and are then persecuted for it, it leads to an interesting perspective on the world.  Which leads me to the commentary, “If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans.” 
            We have had a, “lock-step” summer.  Everything was planned to the last turn of the tires on the RV and the calendar has been stuffed with every possible contingency and then some.  Our last adventure before heading back to Texas was a cross-country run from Olympia, Washington to St. Louis for a baby shower honoring our soon-to -arrive grandson.     The first day out I was experiencing blurred vision for distant objects, making me dizzy (I am blond!).  The second day I had pronounced double vision which started with objects in the distance but rapidly deteriorated to objects no farther than an arms length away.  The third morning was worse and we headed to an ER at Great Plains Regional Hospital in North Platte, Nebraska.   [This is a wonderful hospital, manned with attentive, compassionate and highly professional people.  I can not offer them enough praise.]
            Now, be assured, when a 67 year old woman walks into an ER presenting with double vision they will assume that you are going to stroke out right there in their foyer, which is never a good read in the local paper.   Thus I was hustled immediately into a trauma room and was out of my clothes, into a lovely muslin gown and hooked up to a milking machine, monitoring my every vital sign, in less than five minutes.  Nobody (!!!) asked for an insurance card, a Medicare card or a supplemental coverage card until I was well into my third blood test.  I was being given 1st class care in a 1st class facility.  Period.  No questions asked.   You’ve got to love the people of the Midwest!
            Part of the medical history included the usual questions;  
Do you smoke? No. 
Take any street drugs? Never. 
Drink alcohol?  Who wouldn’t?  But I do stick to one glass a night. 
Is anyone abusing you?  Only the Congress.  (That actually got a knowing laugh.)
After a day of tests including X-rays, CAT scans and a dye contrast MRI, each one ruling out something horrible, it was determined that I have Sixth Cranial Nerve Palsy.  The probable cause is a viral infection as I am no candidate for any of the other causes.  There is no quick or easy resolution, but I will be alive and well for the end of this story.  In the mean time, an eye patch allows me to see without double vision.  Practice will improve my amended depth perception, and God is still mildly amused. 
Finally, I want to point out, yet again, the difference between men and women.   After the CAT scan, which showed no tumors or stroke evidence, Tom started to relax.  He was fooling with his smart phone and I was trying to read (not easy, but possible and it does calm me) when I looked over and that man was ready to take a picture of me!  Yes, ladies, in my hospital gown, a bad case of hospital bed head, and no makeup!  He said he wanted to let the kids know I was sitting up and doing well.  Can you even imagine what I said to him?  It did end with the phrase, “…and I will hurt you.” 
Life is good and I am keeping the faith.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Humor is a great de-stressor.
October 19, 2013 at 11:19 AM
louisebutler said…
So true! If you can laugh at something you are grasping control of it, which is empowering. Thanks.
October 19, 2013 at 11:26 AM
From the Turtle's Shell said…
An eye patch should be the beginning of a great Halloween costume....
October 19, 2013 at 12:36 PM
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