Lemon's Honesty About Ersatz Victimhood


I am one of those women who can’t drink out of the same glass as her husband without getting pregnant.  As a result I found myself, “in the family way” just two years into my marriage despite efforts to prevent same.  I was a young teacher, but not worried about completing the year as my due date was after the school year ended.  I was never healthier, didn’t know what morning sickness was and had abundant energy.  There was just one little wrinkle.

In November I got a note to drop by the administration building after work.  When I got there I was taken to the assistant superintendent’s office and told that I needed to fill out the forms for maternity leave, starting at the end of the first semester in mid-January.  [I realize this is ancient history, but the 70’s were a different time.]   This meant that there would be no income for the second semester and no guaranteed job for the next school year.  I told Dr. A., “thanks but no thanks.”  That is when my troubles started.

I was told I had to take maternity leave.  In the course of the next 30 minutes more and more men, including the superintendent of schools entered the room, insisting that I sign the forms.  At one point I tried to leave, saying I wanted to talk things over with my husband, but a hand on my shoulder pushed me (gently) back into my chair.  No, the form had to be signed now! 

Finally, in tears and quite by accident, I said the magic words. “I have a signed contract.  Can you make me break a signed contract?”  The superintendent moved, ever so slightly, back in his chair.  I had them!  Crying, this time with anger as well as fear, I stood up.  “You can’t make me ask for leave.  I am going to teach through the school year and the term of my pregnancy.”  I pushed my way through the crowd of men and left. 

I taught that year under constant threat from the administration building.  I never took a sick day.  I taught my own physical education.  I completed the year and my daughter was born four days after school ended—on her due date. 

 Here is my point; I am not a victim of male chauvinism.  Those, “good ole boys” were wrong, arrogant and foolish.  But they actually thought they were protecting me from the perils of pregnancy.  I knew better, acted accordingly and found a way out of the problem.  I don’t win all the time, nobody does, but I go down swinging.

No one makes me a victim.  I am responsible for my success; that makes me confident.  I am also responsible for my failures; that makes me cautious.  When any person, or any group, chooses to accept the role of victim, they are refusing responsibility for their own actions.  They are abdicating their right to self governance in exchange for servitude. 

CNN anchor, Don Lemon, used these words in calling for some, “tough love” on the subject of blacks:

  “Pull up your pants; don’t use the n-word; respect one’s environment by not littering; finish high school; and don’t have children out of wedlock.” 

Lemmon does not discount the real problems of racism, but he also admits that anyone guilty of the above is a victim of nothing but their own bad choices.  He is also paying them the compliment of saying that they can be change agents in their lives. 

I totally agree with him. 

Look in the mirror, accept reality and keep the faith. 

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