PETA, Cow Raffles and an Unreconstructed Carnivore

PETA, a constant source of spittle spewed amusement, is at it again.  It seems a 14 year old boy in Louisiana decided to fund part of a trip to Europe with, among other things, a cow raffle.  The boy, by the way, is not traveling to Europe on a jaunt.  He has earned a spot as a People-to-People ambassador.  Nor is the cow necessarily going to, “bite the big one.”  The raffle winner can get either a living cow or a freezer full of meat. 

Enter the joyless but lathered members of PETA.  Whitney Calk, a street team coordinator (is that like a community organizer????) fired off a lengthy e-mail to the teen-ager, saying, “It just seems a little strange to me that you feel someone (emphasis added) needs to die for you to go on a school trip.”  She then pasted in links for the young man to get to some pictures of mostly naked Playboy bunnies promoting veganism. 

So much about this is foolish that I hardly know where to begin.   Let’s start backwards and hope I don’t miss anything.  First, ultra-thin Playboy models who are selling an artificially emaciated version of femininity instead of their brains, education and talent are not the message we want our young people to get.  Did these PETA people pay no attention to what went on in Steubenville, Ohio? 

Second, a cow is not, “someone.”  A cow is something.  It is an animal.  True, we also are animals, but sentient ones.  If you want to attribute human qualities to nonhuman things, then read David Attenborough’s book, The Private Life of Plants, and you will be left with nothing to eat at all. 

Finally, while I cherish the concept of personal choice in food as in all things, recent attempts to rein in my gustatory selections are concerning me. 

I am an unreconstructed carnivore.  More correctly, of course, I am an omnivore.  I love fruits and veggies.   I haven’t found a grain I didn’t like.  I can and have gone a day or two without meat, and a salad a day keeps the hips at bay.   But, sooner or later, I am going to need (not want—need!) a thick slab of meat. 

I have read, heard and rejected the arguments favoring a meatless lifestyle.  I remain what I am, a fully evolved homo sapien with canine teeth and the instinct to use them.  I am, as they say, armed and dangerous. 

Yet I am now faced with people who are making aggressive attempts to not just inform others about food choices (I’ve got no problem there), but limiting those choices for the rest of us.  No salt, no sugar, no meat, no kidding, no fun.  Why do vegetarians all behave like missionaries in a pagan land?  I don’t make a point of saying that I enjoy eating dead animals.  Why doesn’t PETA treat me with the same benign neglect with which I am willing to treat them? 

Of course, zealots of any kind are not the kinds of people with whom one has a conversation.  They don’t want to listen, they want to shout.  I, on the other hand, want to make a few quiet points before frying up some chicken. (1) You can love animals without hating humans.   (2) Evolution has designed us for an omnivorous diet and our brains and metabolism respond positively to that diverse input.  (3)  The middle ground is always better than the fringe.  (4)  I refuse to live my life sprinkling, “Beano” on every plate of grass clippings I eat.

Chew on that PETA, and keep the faith.