Winehouse, Breivik and the Cult of Indulgence

This is a cautionary tale.  This weekend, two angry, troubled, over-indulged and under-disciplined people gave in to internal demons.  Amy Winehouse, a sultry singer whose voice reminded me of Julie London, killed herself while frantically burning her candle at both ends.  At least she only took one person over the cliff with her.   Anders Behring Breivik, on the other hand, used his delusions and pathological need for attention to kill 92 people—82 of them children at a summer camp.  His murderous rampage started with an Oklahoma City-type bombing in Oslo and then moved to the island camp.  Once on the island he lured the teenagers in close and opened fire.  Like the coward he is, he gave up the minute he faced armed resistance. 

            Both Winehouse and Breivik represent a generation of people who acknowledge no moral authority other than personal gratification.   They are intolerant of adversity; show distain for authority and possess an overwhelming sense of entitlement.  How did we produce people like this? 

            Certainly my parents—the best generation—were raised with no sense of entitlement what-so-ever.  Between the depression and World War II they pretty much thought that life was tough, the world unfair, and one simply tried to make the best of it.  By contrast, this generation got the idea that their children would not only have it better, they would have it all.  There was to be no adversity, no failed expectation, and no hill to climb.  Little did we know that no difficulties also meant no character. 

Winehouse and Breivik grew up in a time when your children were supposed to be the altar at which every family worshiped.  They were not to face any reality that might be uncomfortable.   We couldn’t even let them play soccer in a game that kept score because it would make them feel bad to lose.  Teachers were supposed to be more interested in making sure that children felt good about themselves than whether or not they learned anything.  Believe it or not, these children actually ended up feeling good about being ignorant.  Not what we wanted. 

Compare this with my childhood, or even my children’s childhood.  I lived in a house where the proper relationship between parent and child was summed up in the phrase, “Why?  Because I said so.”  Counseling consisted of, “Stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about.”  [I still think this is good advice.]  The point is, winning, losing and playing a role, not the lead, in life’s great theater were givens.  There was authority and it could be questioned only with respect.  If you are asking, “Why?” let me explain that you are the victim of a soft upbringing that didn’t include the lesson that just because you have an opinion doesn’t mean that it must be respected.  People in authority are there because somewhere along the way they convinced others that they deserved to be there.  You may have a better idea, but until you can prove it, don’t ask me to treat you like all truth comes from God’s mouth to your ear.  I’m not buying. 

This weekend we saw the loss of a talented girl who couldn’t accept personal discipline.  She lost her ability to perform and she lost her life.  We also saw the death and injury of over 100 people because a spoiled brat thought his version of reality was the only acceptable option.  This is a cautionary tale.  Raise a generation that believes it is entitled to self-indulgence and it will consistently act without regard to rules and boundaries.    We desperately need to keep the faith, folks. 

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