Mother's Day From a Different Point of View

All of the names have been changed to protect the innocent--all except Flo and Zigfield who are obviously guilty on all counts.  

Not all Mother’s Day stories are sweet and loving.  More than once, mothering meant I had to come at the task from a slant.  But before you judge, hear my story, and then deal with me as you will.

            My daughter has a soft heart especially where lost or abandoned animals are concerned.  None of this served her well when she accepted a new job several states away from where she lived.  She was going to have to make a move on the run and a call to her mother was the first task on her, “to do” list.    I was there in three days.  But, at no time in this Norman Rockwell picture of mother-daughter bonding, did I anticipate the crime that I was about to by commit.  

            Daughter has two English bulldogs rescued from the local animal shelter.  Bulldogs are cute dogs, love sponges and at home on any couch.  They also are heavy, drooling, snoring animals and flatulent to a fault.  An hour without passing gas is an hour wasted as far as bulldogs are concerned.  And, being naturally gregarious, they assume that the rest of the world thinks that breaking wind is as joyful an occasion as they do.  One of the dogs actually smiles while fogging the air.

            Besides her bulldogs, Daughter also has four cats, all of them abandoned near her home.  All these animals needed to be transported to their new home in the two vehicles driven by Daughter and me.  She gave me my choice; I could travel with either the gassy bulldogs or the cats and their litter box.  Numbers for weight it was probably a draw, but I opted for the dogs and loaded Flo and Ziegfeld, into the back of my van.  Flo preferred to stay in the pet cage, but, “Ziggy,” settled into the free space beside the cage in the back of the vehicle.  He frequently propped his front paws up on the back of the seat, barked good naturedly, and fired yet another round of gaseous intestinal ammunition into the air.  He could afford to be generous with his ammo.  This animal never outruns his supply lines. 

Daughter and I left early, traveling hard and fast.  We covered 600 miles that first day, stopping only to fill the gas tanks, hit the bathroom, walk the dogs and grab fast food from the drive-thru.  Just west of Kansas City we arrived at the scene of my crime.  Daughter had reserved two rooms for us at a motel and we were eager for a hot shower and a soft bed.  It was in this place and time that I willfully crossed the line from law-abiding citizen to a woman with a past.  Daughter and I arrived late, dirty and tired.  She gave her name and said she had reserved two pet friendly rooms.  It was then that she was told that the word, “pet” meant one small dog, which had to weigh less than 20 pounds.  Cats, of course, were not allowed.  Daughter and I looked at each other. 

My voice seemed to come from a person I scarcely knew.  “We have a Yorkie, and he’ll stay in my room.”  It is just that easy to become the person I am now!

Our rooms were at the far end of the motel, around the corner and down the hall from the desk.  Good for us.  

It was dark when we drove to the back door.  We stealthily hustled the dogs into the motel.  Then we turned to the thornier problem of smuggling in the cats. 

We rounded up all four felines, which had had their roam of the car on the trip, and forced then into the pet carrier.  It was cold.  We were tired.  The carrier was both heavy and ungainly.  With Daughter and me on either side of the crate we got it out of the car and stumbled toward our goal.  Our sideways, crablike steps were stilted and limited in ground-covering capacity.  As we approached the door to the motel I eased my head around the corner to make sure the coast was clear.  We then shuffled the crate of cats as quickly as we could down the hall and into my room with the cats were hissing, spitting and yeooooowling the whole time.  I then skulked out for take-out, too tired to contemplate my crime.

We arrived in Denver the next day and Daughter began her job on time.  I returned home and stand now before the bar of public opinion if not that of justice.  I am not proud of my behavior, but every once in a while, I do smile a little, sort of like that damn bulldog.

            Cut your mother some slack today and keep the faith.