Are Men Really Pond Scum?

Most men are honorable, sensitive and moral human beings.  That fact makes the transgressions of sexual aggressors more egregious.  They don’t have to behave that way.  It is not ingrained in their “maleness.”  They are sexual offenders because they choose to be.

The Washington Post has, over the past month, published a series of articles on the hot topic of the fall: sexual harassment.  With charges against prominent men from every walk of life popping up like mushrooms on a pile of dung there is no question that sexual harassment has qualified for the “disease of the month” club.

The irksome headlines seemed to pose questions that answer themselves.

“Many men aren’t sure what sexual harassment is.”  They would if they were the recipients of the same.  Clue number one: if you would not do/say/behave in a certain way to a man, it is not appropriate for a woman.  Period.

“Why doesn’t sexual harassment sensitivity training help?”  Because it is a prison in-service.  No one goes to these crap classes unless they are told they must, and no one recovers from a problem they don’t think they have. 

“Why do men want to masturbate in front of women?”  Because they can!  It is the ultimate power play. 

“Are we overreacting to sexual harassment now?”  No, but we may not be thinking through the cause-effect relationship.

The last article is a commentary by Ruth Marcus.  Ms Marcus produced an important piece that sheds relevant light on all aspects of the issue.  Marcus posits that there are degrees of sexual harassment, some more worthy of response than others.  She is right.  There is an arc of inappropriate behavior and one size does not fit all when it comes to punishment.  First there is the line of criminality and that is codified in law.  But what does one do with the gray area of indecency or crude behavior that precedes  illegality? 

What do we do about the rank and file men who use sexual harassment as work-place therapy on a daily basis.  Not just the high profile Al Franken’s, Harvey Weinstein’s, Kevin Spacey’s and Roy Moore’s of this world, but the postal supervisor, the school principal, the restaurant manager, the routine, garden-variety, ass-hole that every woman in the country has had to deal with at one time or another in her working life.  In discussing punishment, I think that Marcus, and the rest of us, must realize that corrupt men use sex the same way they would use a gun—as a demonstration of power. 

That concept “power” is the key to punishment.  If power is the coin of the realm, then we should use it.  Any harasser needs to know that once he is found guilty (legally or morally) that he will pay the price in loss of status.  The congressman loses his chairmanship, the supervisor becomes an assistant, the corner office is given to the next person in line.  Perks are gone, vacation time, bonuses, all the trappings of power are on the line.  The only question becomes how you reduce a President’s power.  My answer to that is to side step his importance.  No photo-ops, no stories, no invitations to speak, attend or comment, only superficial representation at the press briefings.  Take the time you used to give the President and spend it on Congress, state legislatures and the courts.  Sexual harassment should become a short trip to the second string.  Men will hate this. 

Power is a double-edged sword that can cut both ways.  Use it wisely and keep the faith.