My Husband is Giving Birth



My husband is giving birth.  It has been a long gestation and a hard labor.   I remind him to breath and there is the constant “push, push, push…” of buttons on the computer.  I bring him ice chips (bathed in bourbon) to keep up his strength but we are both tiring. 
The cursing and cries of despair are more than I can take.  I am just hoping for his water to break and the inevitable crowning that will mark the beginning of the end.  It should be soon.  I can’t take much more.  He can’t take much more.  This eclipse can’t get here too soon. 
Tom has planned on viewing this eclipse for the quarter century I have known him.  He is an amateur astronomer and this is the eclipse always knew we could share with family and friends.  This is the big one.
Fourteen states will be on the line of totality for this eclipse.  Indeed, no one in North America will be left out.  If you are in Inuvik, in the Yukon Territory inside the Arctic Circle, or on the southern tip of the Baja in Mexico, you will still see 25% of this eclipse.  That encompasses a lot of people; a lot of territory; a lot of science.  The music of the sphere is about to put on one almighty big concert.
The basics of an eclipse are easy to understand.  If you have a clock on the wall you can hold your thumb up in front of you and block out the entire face of the clock.  Your thumb isn’t as big as the clock, but it is closer to you, so it covers more of your field of vision.  Likewise, a moon that is much smaller than the sun, but much closer to Earth’s “eye” can block out the sun.  Of course, that means that the path of the Earth, sun and moon must coincidently end up in the same line.  Mathematically, we can figure when and where that alignment will happen.  If a train is running around a track at a regular speed you can time when it will always pass point A.  If a second train is running on a different track, at a different speed, you can time when it will pass the same point.  You can also calculate when both trains will pass the same point at the same time.  Eclipses don’t sneak up on us.  There are books that track them for hundreds of years both into the past and the future. 
So, Tom has been planning this baby for decades.  But that doesn’t mean he is having an easy time of it.  Our motor home is currently parked in Ft. Morgan, Colorado.  We can travel north, east or west to the line of totality which is a scant 2 hours away.  We are self-contained.  Our water tanks are full, our waste tanks are empty, and the larder is stocked.  We are like Coach Bear Bryant’s football team “…agile, mobile and hostile.” 
None of this is helping Tom.  He is laboring to deliver a perfect eclipse. Where will the best seeing be?  Where will the clouds pop up—damn them?  He is comparing at least three different weather forecasts, NASA, NOAA, and the Weather Channel. Everything is in flux.  Tension is rising.  Decisions made yesterday are discarded today.  I am staying as far away from the delivery room as possible.  But—every once in a while—I start thumbing the blade of my best kitchen knife and wonder—is a Caesarian the answer?
Enjoy the eclipse and keep the faith. 

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