Hilary Rosen and What's Bugging Her

Hilary Rosen is an idiot.  She is also an angry, bitter and nervous woman who allowed a moment of personal vexation to expose her mean spirit.  I used to be a lot like her; but I got better.  I come from a long line of women who worked outside the home.  I spent 30+ years in education.  My mother was the head accountant for the City and County of Denver and later Stapleton International Airport.  Her mother was a farmer’s wife (now there is a full-time, “stay at home” job) but she also was the bookkeeper for the local creamery.  All of my children have professional jobs, my sisters worked and most of the women I know worked.  We were also wives and mothers. 

            There were many times in my life when I felt—as Ms. Rosen does—resentment and envy toward the stay-at-home Moms in my neighborhood.  They weren’t getting up at 5:30 to get themselves ready for work with a little quiet time to get ahead on the housework, put some food in the crockpot, and get the kids ready for day care and/or school.  They didn’t hit the grocery store on the way home, gather the family and then face all the work needed to keep home and hearth together.  What is more, some of them had a tendency to make nasty remarks to me about how I was hurting my family by being a working Mom.  Yup, I occasionally felt ugly toward homemakers, and I guess they also felt the same way toward me.  But, as I said, I got better.



            First of all, I was honest with myself.   [Ms. Rosen, please take note of this next part, you will feel better about yourself!]  I worked because I had to.  If we were going to have food on the table and a roof over our heads I had to work.  But the truth is I was good at what I did, found it tremendously satisfying, and would have worked even if I didn’t have to.  In fact, I would not have been a better mother for staying home, I would have been worse for the choice.  Knowing all of this, I realized that these random moments of rancor toward my fellow women was not about them, it was about me.  I was working hard, living frugally, worrying about bills and needed someone to growl at.  That makes me human, recognizing this weakness makes me a smart human, and choosing not to give in to this weakness makes me a good, smart human.  Here is where Ms. Rosen needs to get what ever help she needs to become a good, smart, happy person.  Clearly she is not.

            The truth is that whether you are a homemaker or working outside the home you are a working woman.  Raising a family, supporting the work of a hard-working husband, providing volunteer effort in your community are all laudable activities.  Choosing one, some or all of these jobs does not mean you are more or less savvy than the next person.  You can be a homemaker and know a great deal about the economic issues that face all women.  You can also be a working woman and know a great deal about the issues of child care, medical care and food costs that face all women.  What makes a person competent to comment on any issue is their intelligence, how much they read, and how honestly they evaluate the information that comes to them.  Ms. Rosen is self-serving and disingenuous in her statements about Ms. Romney.  She is also wrong. 

            Respect all women’s life choices, and keep the faith. 

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