My Rant Concerning Getting Out the Vote

  Tomorrow is Election Day.  Oddly, I am not going to ask you to vote.  [More on that later.]

Voting patterns are interesting; some are predictable, others present a mystery.  For example, why do Minnesotans vote more than anyone else in the country?  Why are Texas and West Virginia, two states with nothing in common in size, geography or demographics, at the bottom of that list of voters?  If you are female, older, and well educated you are more likely to vote.  Eighteen to 29 year-olds are the least engaged—strange for people who are sure they know it all.  Hispanics vote the least, followed closely by blacks. 

Democrats like to talk about voter suppression and Republicans talk about voter fraud.  Both arguments are unsubstantiated pimp-talk designed to further their respective political agendas and both groups should be ashamed of themselves--but they aren't.

            If I had my way every eligible citizen would be given a free picture ID, periodically updated with no more than a 7 year old picture and a valid address which they would use to vote.  Voting should be easy and convenient.  That being said, the sanctity of the vote is of paramount importance. 

Let’s take the example of an Iowa woman who voted twice this year.   She justified her criminal actions by saying she wanted her man to win and the system is rigged.  The irony of her being the one who is "rigging" it and that she was also caught seemed lost on her, but judging from the mug shot I'm guessing this is not the first intellectual concept that has zipped right past this cutie.  Ignoring the, “one man, one vote” principle, she voted both by absentee and at the polls.  Her first vote was hers to cast as she wished.  But her second vote costs good Americans (those who believe in obeying the law) three votes. 

 
        Think of voting as a number line.  We have Smith on one side and Jones on the other.  You, the voter, sit on the middle of the line at point O.  If you vote for Smith it puts him at + 1.  But it also puts Jones at - 1.  A dishonest vote needs one honest vote to put Jones back at O, a second to put him at + 1 where he should have been with the correcting vote and a third to put him at +2 where he should have been with the two correcting votes.  Ms. Slimeball, through her criminal actions, has out voted the good guys by a 3-1 ratio.   But, guarding the vote is the law’s problem.  [Personally, I want each one of these insects found out and their right to vote rescinded for the rest of their sneaking, lying lives.  But I digress.]

What I am really thinking about is the massive effort to register voters and then beg them to get to the polls.  One intellectually challenged Congresswoman from the Houston area actually offered voters a chance at a raffle for voting.  This is, off course, illegal (no different than the frontier days when a shot of whiskey was offered for a vote).  The thing that shatters my faith in Congressmen is that Rep. Mushforbrains, didn’t know (or care) that it was illegal, until confronted by the press.

As I said, I want everyone who is eligible to vote to do so.  I am ready to make it as easy as protection of the integrity of the process allows.   But, it is time to stop cajoling these slackers to get to the polls.  I have registered to vote when I had to walk several blocks to get to City Hall.  I have hauled my girls in a wagon behind me to get to the polls.  I have stood in freezing lines covered in sleet to vote.  I have set my alarm for 5:00 a.m. to vote before work.  If you are too lazy, too ignorant, too self-absorbed to haul your sorry ass to the local library and register, or the neighborhood church to vote, I am neither going to beg for your participation or regret your absence.  Do what is right, or shut up. 

Reminding an adult to vote is like reminding them to wash their hands after using the toilet.  If you have to ask, you’ve already lost the battle.  Personally, this entire election cycle has convinced me that maybe we do need an intelligence for voting.

             I voted, because I keep the faith.